Rainy mind scene.

So this be my last Monday at school, and it`s weird. The usual waking dread is exaggerated, as I look out to a scene of some typhoon or other tickling Saga with its little toe. I can`t help but feel that it wasn`t supposed to be like this. That I wanted to, on the final strait, finish on a good note with activities assured to make waves in the linguistic world, going out with a nuclear-sized bang. Yet, I can`t help but deny my despondancy. It looks as though, with great effort manage to wave a weak and watery goodbye on my way out the door.
I`m so so tired. Tired in general. I haven`t been sleeping well, clocking a miserable six or so instead of my former nine-and-a-half hours. “I can`t be bothered” has been etched on my soul by the god of procrastination, during one of these half-a-dozen short-hand clock spasms. Packing up your life is strange. Pizza-esque is what my existance has become. People round and about wanting a bit of me, an equal slice, but when I come back to the plate for my helping there`s nothing left.
" But you promised. "
"Yeah, I promised, but...I`m human, and I forget. Sorry."
it feels as though I`m lowering myself into a pitt, that I`ve been taking a step closer and closer to the bottom with each passing day and that soon, I`ll get there, and I`ll realise that I`m actually there and it`ll all come out. I just hope to God, that I`m by myself when it happens and not quivvering like an epileptic on some podium or other, wishing I`d had a cheeky wee sup before hand, and that I don`t have to gulp, and snort like the black widow, for far too long a pause. And no matter how nice people are, you know they`re thinking, " God! Glad that wasn`t me!"
Because then you have the added bonus of knowing complete and utter mortification.
Yeah I`ll settle for the tear-sodden pillow any day.