Kyushoku hell
I go home to eat lunch everyday. Today's menu: pizza toast (ain't nutin' wrong wit dat), canned peaches and mango juice. No, I didn't put the peaches in a bowl, 'cuz then I'd have to wash that bowl and if I eat straight from the can, all I have to wash is a fork. Some- like my mother- would call that laziness, but I call it an efficient use of time.I did, at the beginning of this year, eat kyushoku (school lunch) because they convinced me (STRAIGHT OUT LIED!) about how wonderful kyushoku is, how the food is delicious and not to mention VERY healthy. Well, how could I turn that down??? Unbeknownst to me I had no idea that wonderful, delicious and healthy meant fried, unrecognizable seafood and inedible soup. Why is it necessary to dump dead baby fishes all over or in everything- salads, rice, sauces??? They'd ruin perfectly good food that way. Not to mention the smell of things sometimes. Good lord, I wouldn't wish some of those smells on my worst enemy! Makes me grateful I don't teach many classes in the afternoon or I go to shogakkou. I'm sure I have many grateful brain cells too.
When I quit kyushoku I was asked by several people why I wouldn't want to eat Japanese food from heaven? To which I responded, oh I'm trying to lose weight or I am trying to eat really healthy and there is too much bread and rice, etc... That seemed to suffice for most people because obviously being the whale of a gaijin I am, losing weight is very important as I could keel over dead at any moment from my obesity.
The best question I received was from an office lady who said, 'you don't like Japanese food?' I said, 'I love Japanese food, but so much of it is fried, like the fish.' She said, 'so ne, but it's very healthy.' I said, 'hmm, not when it is all fried.' She frowned a bit, then looked puzzled and said, 'but, it's fish!' I said, ' yea, but it's fried.' And she said 'but it's fish!' I just said, ' so ne, I have to go.' I guess you can't argue with the 'it's fish' argument.
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