I feel baseball whenever I teach my thing

Japanglish blunders of the week...

This is an email from a friend in Fukuoka:
"I am ill conditioned recently. Do you do it everyday? Please teach your thing."

My 9th graders' word of the week is "whenever". For classwork, they had to write four sentences using the word (i.e. I feel happy whenever I play tennis). Most of the students feel happy or sad whenever they see her or him, or play sports. But this sentence let me know what is really on the minds of junior high boys:
"I feel baseball whenever I saw her."

This is from my sister, who is an ALT at a jr. high in Kobe:
"I like leg. I love thigh, but I like leg. Leg is great. Leg fight my earth. I will want leg. Thank you"

I know there are tons more out there, so please share.