lycra

Ok, I have just had the ultimate in humiliations in Japan.
In Tenjin on Saturday doing a bit of shopping, as one does, when a rather nice grey t-shirt with sparkly bits on it catches my eye. Fair price - check. Funkiness factor - extremely high. Fabric - extremely stretchy. I make eye-contact with the irritatingly giggly shop assistant and shake the t-shirt nonchlantly in the air, signifying that I want to try it on.

She looks slightly awkward for a minute and replies "aaaah.......(sucks air through teeth).......chotto". I don't understand. Is the shop closing? Are the changing rooms full? No, apparently my huge rippling gaijin body is too much for anything in the shop and she, wait for it, holds the t-shirt up to me and stretches it round me whilst PATTING MY STOMACH!! I can hear her barely-contained inner monologue saying "You're askin a hell of a lot of that fabric, honey...*giggle giggle*".

I admit, I'm taller and broader than the Japanese average but I'm not huge!!
Can you imagine anyone doing that where you live? I think not!! Having worked in clothes shops before, I know that it's the customer's prerogative to try on anything they damn well please. I'm not about to pick out anything I know I'm not going to fit into but why should I buy somthing I'm not allowed to try on?

In any case, I really liked the t-shirt so told Miss Giggly I was gonna buy it anyway and y'know what? It looked fantastic, wasn't too small and showed off my gaijin cuves to perfection. I make no apologies for actually having some T & A to put in my clothes so SCREEEEEEWWW YOOOOOOOOUU!!

Ahem.....I feel better now. Anyone else had this problem??