One year of Saga blog and 400 posts, and you get... a damn monkey picture

by Maurice (3/01/2006)

So it's the 400th post and one year of Saga blog, weeee.
Here's a chimp to celebrate. Man I could look at that little guy and laugh all day. Originally for this post I was going to go back and find wacky or deep quotes from each month and post them and maybe comment on how it's "still so true" or something. But then I thought, "that's a lot of work, and I really don't care."
THEN it dawned on me what a big hypocrite I am. I had been thinking about how few people post on this blog, and the nuttiness going on in the forum. I realized that before being asked to start posting, I had never commented on the blog myself. (I hadn't even registered to go use the forums.) And neither had so many people. Only a small group of truly interested dedicated people had significant involvement in the blog at all...
IT WAS JUST LIKE FRESHMAN POLISCI!!! I knew this stuff! Just like in American politics, the majority of people don't care and don't realize any impact the system has on their lives; this was the case with me and the Blog. Civics: Many people don't vote or even register to vote. That was me too, never posting never registering! Civics: Most candidates and platforms are crafted by devoted strongly leaning partisans. That was here too! Rather than a continual influx of diverse comments by many people on the blog, it was limited to a select group that, although they all provide wonderful comments, doesn't necessarily reflect the view of the population at large.
And then I ...I ...Your eyes have all glazed over haven't they? Well, it was an interesting mini case study for me and my nerdiness.
ANYHOO! I like stories, and I shall tell some. Friday, I'll go American Indian again and tell you another legend of Saga.



It was a long time ago, when the skies were still warm and dragon flies swirled and mated above golden rice fields. It is a muggy evening, with air thick enough to be parted with your hands.
I stopped in to my local bar/restaurant, a tiny building in a tiny town and the only place around where youngish people can gather and compare fur lined jackets or boots or whatever the hell they do. I go there to try to learn a little vulgar Japanese and break up the what is otherwise a week of conversation with children and grandmas.
This particular evening, a young woman came up to me and struck up conversation. I had seen her at least once before, but never talked. She told me she was interested in English and that I was interesting and "he he he, wow your age is close to mine, ne?" We talked for a while, and eventually she asked if we could get together sometime, I could teach her English and she'd teach me Japanese. I agreed and she said she'd come by that Saturday. I asked if she knew where I lived, and ominously she said, "oh, I already know."
(Let me say at this point I have a long distance relationship to which I have been and remain honest and devoted.)
I was surprised when she showed up that Wednesday night instead, and asked if it was alright to do the study meet that night. I was suspicious. Then she said we could do it at a nearby restaurant. I was relieved. She said we could take her car, which was a van. I was suspicious.
My guard up, we ate and practiced English and Japanese for a while at a restaurant and had a good time. I decided I'd been wrong about my impression and relaxed. We drove back to my apartment, and she asked to come in for tea or something and chat some more. I was suspicious but a host. So we had tea and chatted, nothing else. I relaxed.
Things were wrapping up, and I went to the sink to put the dishes away. My dryer, which had been churning away , finished its batch of clothing. She offered to go bring the dried clothes out, and I started washing dishes. When she returned from the dryer/bathroom, she had large sheets and clothes from the dryer, a few items loosely wrapped around herself. I remarked that she looked funny.
At that point, she set the pile down, allowed the draped bedsheets to fall off and proceeded to walk across my living room in only her skivvies. (Don't worry, this ain't some dumb guy story to impress)
I freeze up. I had totally let down the guard I'd held most of the evening, and she caught me unaware and snapped the circuitry of my brain. I stood their petrified and looking slightly away but not completely, holding a soapy dish in my hand as she walked past me to the bed and finished undressing. Now I'm looking strait down at the sink, a stone statue, a road jizo, a moai, unable to move, unable to think. Next thing I know she's walked up behind me and tried to nuzzle my neck with her forhead.
That brings me back to reality in an instant, I flip and all hell breaks loose. I start talking too fast and babbling in English, trying not to look at her, pointing and gesturing, and trying to get her dressed and out the door; she's talking too fast and babbling in Japanese and realizing something's definitely not going to plan. Eventually she gets dressed, we both apologize for the misunderstanding, and with as much dignity as she can, she apologizes again and leaves.
After I heard the car fade away, I sat down and tried to get my head strait. I could literally feel the adrenaline racing around my system. I sat still for about a minute before I grabbed the phone. I called a friend who told me I was a liar, that my life is 'movie-like, awesome crazy', and NOT tell my girlfriend. I get off the phone and immediately call my girlfriend.
At about three in the morning her time, she heard this, "YouwillNOTbelievewhatjusthappened. AfterItellyouthisyouwilltrustmeforever. TherewasanakedJapanesegirlandshewantedtodostuff butIdidn'tandnowshe'sgone. Andandandand uh uh... that's it."
It's kind of hard to react to that news in any particular sensible way at any hour, but she took it well.
Rest assured, there will be a smack down in my town one day in the not too distant future though. My girlfriend aims to right this dishonor and make an example of an attempted usurper to her status. Only a fight to the death will suffice. ...Well that's what I suggest.
And that's it. I've seen that woman twice since. For me it's a little akward, but she just ignores me.

Tomorrow: Oranges! And people in clam shells!
Clay, stick around man. I can't vote in the forum because I just signed up, but I'd vote for you to stay. You're putting in a lot of effort. If people don't appreciate it, then step back, but don't leave.

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