White Girls Can`t Run??


8:40 a.m.
Door bell rings
Me: Ugggghhh. Why is it that the people in my town insist on ringing my doorbell a minimum of 12 times before 9 a.m??
Muroako san: Uh. Gudo Morning Jayne san. You come now Sports Festival?
Me: Right now?
Muroako san: E???
Me: Now?
Muroako san: Uh, yes. You come my car (moving his right hand from side to side in a "I am driving" motion)
Me: Okay.

9:20 a.m.
Random townsperson: Can you run in next race?
Me: I guess so.
Random townsperson: Oh, yes, gudo! You come now this way (gesturing towards the track). Put zis on (handing me a bright blue headband).
Me: Uhh, it`s not really my colour, but okay.

9:22 a.m.
Dude with megaphone: You. Run. Yes?
Me: Yup.
Dude with megaphone: Oh!! Sugoi!! Hahahahah!! Ganbatte!!
Me: (What a fucker)

9:25 a.m.
Dude with starting gun: (Looking in my direction) Ehhhhh??? (saying something in Japanese to other random dude. They laugh.)
Me: (what, do they not think that I can run? Fuckers.)
Girl Beside Me: Uh. Do zey have Sports Festival in Canada?
Me: Well, something like it anyways.
Girl Beside Me: E????
Me: Yes. They have this.

9:35 a.m.
After receiving a 5-pack of Scottie brand tissue paper for the first place finish from the Mayor (yes, this is what I need - more tissue paper!!)
Random townsperson: Ohhh!! Jayne-san, you run very fast!!
Me: Thanks (so what, now they`re in shock that I won?? I`m really not that fast, but this is pretty amusing so I`ll go with it)
**FLASH from camera**
Me: Wha?? Oh - hello.
Dude with Camera: nods, takes another photo and walks away.
Me: (What a fucker. I didn`t even get a chance to fix my hair.)